Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
