It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
