i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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