So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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