I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
