i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize