i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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