she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
