I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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