East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
