I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
