Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
