Dual....:-)
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
