we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
