I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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