i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
so much tequila, so little girl.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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