My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
