please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
