I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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