I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
