Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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