I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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