found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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