Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
