PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
