I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
