I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
