drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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