I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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