i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
