I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
