Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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