omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
