Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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