how can u be prego again
meet me or not, i'm out of control
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
