so that wasnt chicken after all
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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