it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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