he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
