Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
