I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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