I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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