so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
im on a boat
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