I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
