I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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