Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
