At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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