I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i've created a new STD.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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