My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
