He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
