I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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