He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have fence marks all over my body
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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