I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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