Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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