sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize