You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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