its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
