i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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