you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You ruined the universe
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
