It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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