Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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